Viagravation

> Friday May 29 4:57 PM EDT
>
> Man slapped with lawsuit over Viagra

>NEW YORK (Reuters) - The anti-impotence pill Viagra worked
>so well for a 70-year-old millionaire that he promptly left his
>lover for another woman, according to a lawsuit. Roberta Burke,
>63, of Garden City on Long Island, is suing common-law husband
>Frank "Sonny" Bernardo for $2 million plus damages, charging
>that within days of the couple having sexual intercourse for the
>first time in four years, with the help of Viagra, he was seeing
>another woman.

Frank Bernardo denied the accusations that he was seeing "another
woman," adding that he felt very offended by the comment. He continued
by saying, "actually, I am screwing two chicks and a disturbingly hairy
guy."
Citing his case to the press, Mr. Bernardo flashed a picture of his
common law wife Roberta at a press conference. "Look, look at this
shit," he screamed as he reminded everyone of exactly why he was
impotent in the first place as he vigorously shook the photo. "It took
Viagra to give me the courage to leave that horse and find me some good
looking ass somewhere else."
"Where as before Viagra," Bernardo explained, "I had no urge to have
sex." Compounded by his "hideous horse wife," Bernardo had a complete
and utter lack of libido. "Now," he adds as he shoves his hand down his
pants and grabs at his member, "I have a constant erection that nothing
can take away." Bernardo further qualified that assertion by heartily
humming a special rendition of the Viagra theme song while soundly
beating his member against the microphone to the beat. He was joined by
eight fourth grade Catholic school girls who danced about him
intermittently making jazz hands toward his member.
Dan Rather, present at the press conference in New York City, could
only comment by joining in the musical treat by adding a back beat with
his own member. He was later seen leaving the press conference quickly
with Bernardo and a large box of latex gloves.

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