> WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A new poll by
Newsweek magazine showed Saturday
> for President Clinton to leave office, either by resignation or
> Forty-six percent of those polled said Clinton should consider resignation,
up from 39
> percent one week ago.
> Similarly, 41 percent said Congress should begin impeachment proceedings that
> lead to Clinton's removal from office, up from 35 percent earlier.
> However, far more of those polled -- 64 percent -- said Congress should
> reprimand or censure Clinton to express its disapproval, up from 54 percent
Moreover, 68% of these people polled felt that they should be the
president instead of Clinton, while 3% of those thought they already
were. 10% of people polled had never been polled before, while 83%
where actually Poles themselves.
97% of people polled about the President's crisis thought that he
should, on public television, apologize once a week every week before
Friends on NBC, admitting that he had sex with Lewinski, 1% of those
people thought that he should be having sex with her as he does so, up
from 0% last week, and 3% thought he should be on Friends.
21% of Americans responded to Newsweek's poll by demanding Clinton's
gonads be removed along with him from office, while 3% of those people
decided to send in their own gonads to the magazine. Newsweek, baffled
by the packages sent to them, decided to pull their poll and stick it
Meanwhile, Time magazine conducted their own poll where they discovered
that 65% of Washington DC residents wish Clinton to resign while 76%
wished for Clinton to come "to their house and screw them."
While 46% of those wished for similar stains on their own dresses, an
astounding 99% would dry clean them afterward, while a paltry 1% would
"sleep with it under my pillow where I will use it to drive out the
inner demons that haunt me and make me do bad things. Mom, mom,
89% of people believed that the stained dress was the coup de gras for
Clinton, while 98% thought that if Lewinski was as "good as they were in
giving head" there would be no stains.
And finally 38% of people polled said they hated polls and would never
take part in them, while 18% were too busy blowing the President to
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