America's Moral Delight

> Friday September 18 2:07 PM EDT
>
> Iran Cleric Blasts Clinton As 'Sexual Sadist'
>
> TEHRAN, Iran (Reuters) - A senior Iranian cleric Friday described
>President Clinton as a ``sexual sadist'' and urged Iranian President >Mohammad
Khatami to expose the United States during a visit next week >to New York.
>
> ``This gentleman (Clinton) has been a sexual sadist since his
>youth...This (sexual) act has not been a simple one. It has been
>carried out in a way which is
>humiliating for the female sex, in a hurtful and horrible way,''
>Ayatollah Ahmad Jannati said in a Friday prayer sermon.

Rashneesh Khollegefiltafish, another high ranking Iranian cleric,
continued by citing Iran's respectful treatment of women as a model for
the Americans to follow. "I say again, that it is extremely hurtful to
the women of America to be scorned by such sadistic acts from their own
chosen leader. Americans need to make a moral model of Iran so that
their women may also be held in the same respect and esteem with which
we hold our women, the same respect that makes us command them to wear
black from head to toe in the middle of a desert."
"The same respect that we accord our Iranian women by not letting them
drive because they may break a nail or crash their husband's imported
Chevy needs to be accorded to women of the US; the same respect that
keeps us from letting them into the same hospitals as men, so that they
may not get infections from all the back air floating through the
hospital air, or be blinded by all those shiny bald heads in their
moment of discomfort."
"We, people of Iran, implore the American women to stand up and fight
for their right to the dignity they deserve. The dignity of having to
bear as many children as their husbands command them to. American women
need to understand that they are valued in American society and not to
be bullied by sex crazed government officials who make them do vile
things with cigars and not even pay for dry cleaning afterward."
Khollegefiltafish closed his remarks by offering a small prayer to the
defiled women of America and then by rubbing the head of a small Thai
child standing under his cleric's cloak and slipping him another fifty
while he pulled out from his turban a jar of Vick's Vapo-Rub and began
vigorously inhaling the fumes and exhaling the chant
"lululululululululululu" to a framed picture of his mother on the
podium.

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