911 Calls

> By The Associated Press
> TROY, N.Y. (AP) -- After taking a call from a woman frantically
> reporting a fire, a 911 dispatcher mocked her in an exaggerated falsetto
> instead of passing on her report to the fire department, authorities
> said.

> The tape of the call shows Ms. Butler saying frantically: "Send a
> fire truck now to 901 Peoples Ave."
> The dispatcher responded: "What's the problem?"
> That was followed by a dial tone after the woman apparently hung
> up and fled the home.
> The tape then appears to reveal the dispatcher repeating the
> demand for a fire truck in a high-pitched, exaggerated African-American
> dialect, authorities said.

The delay in reporting the fire to dispatch a fire truck cost Ms.
Butler and the other residents their home and possessions. But
apparently, the neglect in 911's response to these calls does not stop
The week before a man called in to 911 about an intruder in his home in
the dead of night. The tape of the call clearly shows the 911 operator
mocking the caller, "please send the police, there's someone in the
The operator responded, "yo wassup chief?"
"There is someone in the house."
"Other than yourself?"
"Yes, yes, please send help!"
"Are they paying you rent?"
"What? No, they're not paying rent, it's someone I don't know! They
don't live here, they're breaking..."
"Well it sounds to me like you need to speak with your landlord about
getting the guy on your lease. Thank you." <click>

Apparently another caller was mocked that same week as well. Leonard
Fatbastard was "horrified when [he called] 911 to report having a heart
attack and [he] was accosted by the guy on the phone as to why
[Fatbastard hadn't] been exercising and keeping [his] cholesterol
down." "I couldn't believe my ears, there I was grasping my chest
heaving my final breathes and this 911 guy starts in on me like his my
The dispatcher, Henry Dontcareifyoudieski, mentioned that he was
genuinely concerned for the victim and wanted to teach him how to take
care of himself. "Listen, If I didn't scare the guy into a regimen of
daily exercise and diet, the guy would be calling me day and night
bitching about a shooting pain here and a shooting pain there. The
guy's a great big fat pussy, he coulda clawed his way to the nearest
hospital. It woulda done him good, the exercise."

When investigators found the same operator to have fielded yet another
of these alarming calls, suspicions rose higher still that something may
be wrong.

This time the call was to report a car accident. "My name is John. I
need an ambulance, I just got hit by a car on my bicycle."
The dispatcher responded, "The car was on your bicycle, ma'am?"
"No, I was on my bicycle and I just got hit by a car, and it's not
ma'am, I'm a guy."
"Grammar's very important ma'am."
"What? I'm bleeding for chrissake's. And it's not ma'am, it's sir!"
"Well don't we think highly of ourselves? Where are you ma'am?"
"Elm Street and Vine. And hey, my name's John, I'm a guy!"
"Are you sure? Maybe you're confused."
"What? No it's certainly Elm and Vine."
"No I mean maybe the car hit you and tore off your genitals? Are you
sure you're not a woman?"
"No no no, I have a broken leg and I can't feel my...."
"Your genitals?"
"No! My other leg, it's bleeding!"
"How are your genitals doing ma'am."
"Goddamnit I'm a guy and my genitals are fine, but my legs I can't..."
"Well what are you doing on a bike in the middle of the road?"
"Just getting home. I'm feeling woozy, need help, please I can't..."
"I'll tell you what you can't you little shit, you can't be riding your
little 10 speed around the street and not expect to get hit every now
and then. Walk it off!"
"No wait, I'm bleeding a lot. The ground is soaked in my blood, you
gotta help me!"
"Wah wah wah, help me this and blood soaked that. Whattya calling on,
a cell phone?"
"Yeah, but it's caked in blood, help me I can't...."
"You can afford a cell phone, but you can't afford a fucking car to
drive around in? Or are you one of these vegetarian fuckoes who needs
to save the ozone or some shit by pedaling around on an 1960's fag-cycle
instead of driving like a normal human being?"
"Can't go on... Need doctor, please help...I can't..."
"Yeah? Who's the man now? Get a car asshole." <click>

Dontcareifyoudieski was chided for his actions and was given a desk job
and a promotion to Director of 911 Calls.

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